Dr. Barnes is a great doctor. He is also very kind. He has a gentle nature that soothes and comforts even when the news is bad. He is honest and straightforward without being sharp. While smarter than anyone I know, he is able to speak the language of patients... he puts it, in terms I can relate to and understand and through that I can come to grips with what's wrong. He also mildly resembles Lewis Grizzard, one of my favorite Southern writers. I transferred some of my love of Grizzard to Dr. Barnes and always think of him in humorous terms because of the resemblance. Humor is a great relief to fear.
After a trip to the lab for blood work, I met Dr. Barnes nurse, Cassandra. I fell in love with her immediately. Her office was filled with angels and she had such a warm, mothering nature. Then, Mom and I waited in the exam room, whispering and staring at the door, willing Dr. Barnes to come in with good news. Finally he came in and greeted Mom. They talked of the people that they both knew, and caught up in the way old friends do. I tried not to grind my teeth in anticipation of Dr. Barnes' diagnosis. Is it cancer or isn't it? Who cares how "Dave" is? Who cares how great it is to see one another again? Just give me the answers I need.
Finally he looked at me. Really looked at me... into my eyes. He shook my hand, patted my back and we talked. He asked me to describe the fever, fatigue, stomach woes, and aches. He looked over the other doctor's notes and studied the lab work. He checked my incision, which after eight weeks was still not healed. Then he took a deep breath and said, "I have to do more lab work. And nothing is positive but I don't believe it's leukemia. Something's going on and we'll find it. We have to rule out lymphoma. And I'll be seeing you regularly until we figure it out." Note: I should mention that Dr. Barnes is an oncologist and a hematologist. If a blood doctor didn't think I had leukemia, then I was going to take his word for it with gratitude and thanksgiving. By the way, my appointment was a couple of days before Thanksgiving that year. Because of my immune system, Charlie, Tom and I celebrated by ourselves, but it was a happy holiday. Our families called and we all celebrated the holiday and added extra thanks for no leukemia! He started me on strong antibiotics and we made plans for another appointment and regular blood work. He asked me to keep a diary tracking the fevers.
A month later, on my 11th wedding anniversary, I got the news that it definitely wasn't leukemia. Lymphoma and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma still hung over my head but again, while Dr. Barnes ran new tests, his gut said no to both. That's the first day I heard the phrase "autoimmune disease". I stared blankly at him and said, "You mean I have AIDS?" He threw back his head and laughed and told me that there are more than 10,000 autoimmune diseases and that while AIDS is one of them, he didn't think that it was the answer to my mystery. We made yet another appointment and went home to wait for the phone to ring with results.
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